Superhero Stuff

May 4, 2010

Ok here goes:

The new untitled Batman movie

Following on from the huge success that was the Dark Knight, poor ol’ Chris Nolan has a tough job ahead of him. Though he will do it. Im sure of it.

There are a few speculations surrounding this movie, such as:

–    The Riddler will be the main villain. No one has been cast for him as of yet but there were rumours flying around about it being Johnny Depp, or even Eddie Murphy. Don’t believe these rumours. It will be an actor that is on the same level as Heath Ledger was when he was cast as the Joker. Personally, I feel the Riddler wont even be the main villain. I think he will be a background character, haunting Batman with his riddles and only revealed near the end of the film.
–    Catwoman will be in the next one. I am pretty sure this goes without saying. A lot of people think it could be Angelina Jolie, Charlize Theron, or even Cher (Yes. Cher). I don’t think it will be any of these though Angelina would be a good bet as she has that sultry, sexy thing going on that is required for Catwoman. I think the money should be on Emily Blunt. Catwoman may not be a villain as such but more a rogue character.
–    A lot of people have said that the Penguin wont be in this film and I do believe them. Chris Nolan did say he felt the Penguin to be too unbeleiveable for his movies. He could however be a large mob boss with a nickname of the Penguin. That would work.

The movie should be out next year. People are wondering if the Joker will be in it, and he just might. Apparently, the production team have some unused fottage of the Joker that they can manipulate into a jail scene. Or the other alternative is using another actor to play Heath’s role. The favourite is Joseph Gordon Levitt.

The possible Wonder Woman movie

I have heard that this may be in the works, but really, who wants to see chick superheroes dominating a screen. They are OK as sidekicks.

Anyway, Beyonce was rumoured to be a possible option to don the red and whites. Ref: Lady Gaga video, telephone. She would be a good choice. Wonder Woman is an African chick.

The new Avengers movie

OK. If you have read my write up on Ironman 2 then you would have read me blabbing on about an Avengers movie. What are the Avengers? They are a team of superheroes consisting of (in this case) Ironman, the Incredible Hulk, Thor, and Captain America. Ironman and the hulk have already been setup (we are talking the Edward Norten version of the Hulk).

If you were smart you would notice a few hints that this movie is all go. In Ironman, if you waited till after the credits there is a scene with Nick Fury stating to Tony Stark that they were thinking about putting a team together called ‘The Avenger Initiative”. Also in that first movie, when Tony is in his awesome workshop you will notice a Captain America shield lying on the table.

In the Incredible Hulk, after the credits once more, Tony Stark actually meets up with the general and informs him that they were putting a team together. This was totally awesome when it happened as it actually cross referenced with Ironman.
Another few sceptical scenes in the hulk are when the Hulk gets struck by lightening and throws a rock into the sky, apparently you can see a hint of something crashing to the ground. That something is meant to be either Thor or his hammer. Also, an alternative opening scene sees Edward Norten turn into the Hulk near a ice cliff and he blows it apart. Apparently when he does that, you see Captain Americas body go flying through the air, awakening him from his icy prison. That is bullshit though. I cant see shit when I watch that scene.

Now, with Ironman 2, there were a few references. The Captain America shield is evident again, and even spoken of. The Avengers Initiative is talked about in much more depth. A news report discussing the hulk smashing up a campus (as he did in his film) is there, and, if you wait till the end, a SHIELD agent lets his boss know that they have found it. It being Thors hammer.


So, we have two more movies to come before the Averngers will appear, and they are:


They cast Aussie semi nobody Chris Hemsworth as the lead. It is a good choice I feel. He looks bad ass, just like Thor and he is a pretty good actor too. It will put his name in lights, this movie. Some will remember him as the lifeguard Kim from ‘Home and Away’.
That movie should be out sometime early next year.

Captain America

They have apparently given the lead role of Cap to Chris Evans. Yeah – they guy who played the Human Torch on the Fantastic 4 movies. This is bull crap. Why should he play 2 superheroes???? Its just like the Ryan Reynolds debarcle (he being Deadpool, Hannibal King from Blade, Green Lantern, and supposedly the Flash – what the hell!!!?!)

But yeah, not much more has is known about this movie as of yet.


–    Apparently there is a new Superman movie in the works and Chris Nolan has been asked to ‘help out’ with it.
–    The Flash movie
–    Green Lantern movie
–    Aqua man movie. Leonardo di Caprio to play the lead role instead of Vinnie Chase

That’s about it for now. Will keep you posted.

P.S. Have aloof on youtube and google images for back up pics and videos to these stories for now. I will upload them shortly


Ironman 2 (2010)

May 3, 2010

Director: Jon Favreau

Cast: Robert Downey Jr, Don Cheadle, Mickey Rourke, Scarlett (oh dear god – Scarlett!!!!!!!!!)

Yeah. It was pretty cool.

The girlfriend even liked it. “I really liked it!!!!” she said to me with an excited hint in her voice.
Now, the reason why she liked it is simple. It is a simple storyline to follow, with characters that are instantly likeable and special effects and action scenes to blow your mind. It doesn’t matter that people don’t know who War Machine, or Whiplash, or Nick Fury, or Black Widow are, all that matters is that they play their role and add to the excitement.

The first Ironman actually did pretty well to set the scene, lets face it. Robert Downey Jr was the perfect choice for Tony Stark and the movie did well to combine a ‘birth of a hero story’ with a plausible plot line. When I first saw it  I thought it needed a bit more action but maybe I was just being picky.

This second movie starts off semi slow. There seems to be a lot of talking going on and a lot of setting the scene occurring. I was a bit dubious about the movie when all this was happening, but then it got into it.
Oh boy, those digital effects dudes that did this movie must be bloody good at their job. The effects were seamless and even the camera work was good at allowing all the action to unfold without you feeling as if your head was set on a washing machine cycle.

The story is a continuation of the first through and through. It is not a crappy, overated sequel but more of a progression of a larger story entirely. More characters were introduced and they fell into the plot with no worries at all. It was all really good actually. Really good.

Now, the problem I have with these superhero movies, and don’t get me wrong, I am a huge superhero fan (which is probably why I rate this one fairly highly) is the lack of decent and well known villains. I mean, when Ironman first came out, I knew who he was, but most people didn’t (mainly girls). Myself knowing who he was didn’t mean that I knew any of his villains. I still don’t. But what I am finding is that his villains are just different versions of him, all robotic, powered by an ark reactor and all suits to empower a normal human. Most other superhero movies are like this. The Incredible Hulk saw him fighting……. another hulk-like dude.

In fact, the only superhero with any proper villains, is Batman. That is why Batman is sooooo bad ass. But I am starting to talk about DC here and not Marvel. By the way – can you name a Superman villain other than Lex Luthor. Go on. The answer is at the end of the show.

Spiderman does have some good villains.

So yeah, Ironman 2 is good but due to the comic franchise there is a lack of proper villains. Also, and I hate to think this, but Disney’s acquisition of Marvel may put a taint on the Marvel movies. I don’t see Disney allowing and proper killing scenes to occur in any of its movies and you don’t really see any in this movie. Only scenes that hint that the person involved in them may have been killed by that thing, whatever it is.

Oh yeah, and before I forget, check out the hidden references to the upcoming Avengers movie. If you have been hiding under a rock and don’t know about this Avengers movie then wait a little while and I will tell you all about it. Seriously, I will. Just give me time.
So, you will see Captain Americas shield, a news report describing the Hulk smashing up a campus and, if you wait till after credits roll, another scene hinting at another superhero.

Its exciting. I was sitting there wondering if they would show a hidden scene, as they have done with the previous hulk and iron man movies, and they did. Only myself and a few select people that were in the know stayed behind and we were treated.

Good stuff. Go see it.

P.S. Superman villain – Doomsday. Epic battle between Superman and Doomsday that kills the both of them with one almighty punch. This was after Metropolis has been completely destroyed. Then the Matrix ripped that idea off for the final battle between Neo and Agent Smith. Tsk tsk

P.P.S. Scarlett….. Leather suit….. I think that’s all I have to say

Director: Louis Letterier

Cast: Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes



That’s all you need to know.

OK. Poor acting, poor story and it wasn’t long enough to get you really involved in the story. It could have been epic. It could have broke the box office. But, it seemed as if they rushed it almost; pushing it out the door to satisfy someone, maybe to get it out early to keep the 3D hype going.

That worked for me. It was a choice between this movie or a comedy and I was like “Why do I want to see a comedy at the movies? I wanna see big action and 3D effects!!!!”. You, know the stuff you can only really truly appreciate in front of the big screen.

The fact is; this movie didn’t need to be 3D. There was no mind blowing moments that had me reeling back in excitement. It was standard stuff.

The movie, which portrays a greek mythological story of Perseus, seemed to just border on the capabilities of greek mythology. There could have been so much more done with it. But there wasn’t.

Quite frankly, they should have scraped this movie and plowed full steam ahead on a ‘God of War’ movie.

Though that would be crap too.

It seems there is no room in film for special effects movies that actually have really good storyline and acting. When one does appear, it is heralded as an enormous success and rightly so.
Why cant production companies and so forth, pull there heads out of their asses and really look to prosper better stories and screenplays.

It seems the Hollywood machine is just in it for one thing.

And we, the poor schmucks, lap it up with open arms.

Society needs to wake up sometimes

Sherlock Holmes (2009)

April 10, 2010

Director: Guy Ritchie

Cast: Robert Downie Jr, Jude Law, Rachel McAdams

It is the era of the remake, is it not? Not that any normal movie goer could shout out that they knew of a big budget Sherlock Holmes movie preceding this one. Its just not an original story or character, is what I am trying to say.

Lining up at the movies, you could say I was fairly keen to check this movie out. I wasn’t dressed in the main characters attire, signalling my desire and anxiety about this film coming out. Oh no (I reserve that for only one character). I was however keen on the personnel ‘pulp’ that were being mixed together to form a smooth, rich, and satisfying juice
(What’s this Juice? Its DRINK! – name the quote. Do it)

Through his current reanimation, Robert Downey Jr has been hitting all the right notes. He turned what was a seemingly semi-unknown superhero (for most of the chumps out there) into a box office smash. Its something about his smooth talking and interesting delivery method that gets the critics raving. If you wanted to learn how to pick up chicks, my suggestion – analyse this guy. He acts on screen in the same way one should act in a club. Savvy and confident.
Combine that with another ultimate ladies man in Jude Law (imagine having these two as you wingmen – HOLY SHIT) and we are treated to a contemporary partnership of the timeless duo of Holmes and Watson. Good casting.

Good choice of director too.
I have been a fan of Guy Ritchie’s for a while. He has done some brilliant stuff. However, he has also done some movies that fly over my head and, unless you have a masters degree in English cockney, will fly over yours too. I say he is a good choice of director for this movie because he is one of the few, new-age British directors that have been successful as of late. It is a different type of movie than what he is currently used to. We actually have special effects adorning the film which is quite a change from his dialogue driven movies of the late 90’s. It is very cool how they can alter the feel and look of an entire city such as London to represent a time of centuries ago. It is cool huh?

Just agree.

I can hear your heads nodding.

The story is a typical good guy vs. bad guy story. I liked the way they changed current perception of Holmes. No, he isn’t all moustache and pipe with bowler hat in tow. This guy is a fighter, he has learned to hone his physical skills as well as his mental ones. The edge he has, is that he is able to analyse a situation in a moments notice. If some dude jumps him, even though he is getting a smashed face in the process, Holmes can decipher that his attacker is a smoker (or something) and attack the larynx.
Attack. Attack the larynx.

Smart stuff.

I remember when that James Bond movie ‘Casino Royale’ came out and people everywhere were chocked when they realised that James Bond wasn’t going to be a tall dark and handsome, tuxedo wearing dasher. More so, a brutal blondie, with a killer bod. This was good. James Bond is a highly trained agent, with a licence to kill. He aint going to have no beer/martini gut and go around shaking his fists at guys before knocking them unconscious with one well placed left hook. He is going to deal with guys in a realistic manner, and to do so he has to be physically able.

See the link?

The plot of Sherlock Holmes is more of an introduction to Holmes and this new presentation of him. I can guarantee there will be another movie hot on the heels of this one.  We go through the typical filler before reaching a climax where Holmes must do something to save the world (or London or whatever) and he does so in a nick of time. One criticism I did have with the film was that there wasn’t much of an opportunity for the audience to become detectives of their own. Don’t get me wrong, the way Holmes figures out what is going to happen is nothing short of genius, and yes, the audience can recount how he goes about it. Its just that, I didn’t have a chance in hell of figuring that all out as he did. Someimtes you want to think you are as clever as the main guy. Sometimes you want to see something and put two and two together and revell in your awesomeness as you discover that you too have figured out the mystery before it is made evident.

Apart from that small moan, I quite liked the film. Nothing new really, but pretty entertaining and it was cool seeing a character such as Sherlock Holmes on the big screen finally/again (you tell me)


Avatar (2009)

April 5, 2010

Director: James Cameron

Cast: Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Sigorny Weaver

The 3D version: hands down one of the best movie experiences I have ever had.

If you have already seen this in 3D, you would have to agree. Story, characters and even acting aside, the level of detail that has been created for this movie is astonishing. It is effective also. What a way to spend a night out by immersing yourself in an alien planet like Pandora. So cool

With the close mastering of this 3D technology, we have to start wondering what comes next with the whole movie experience. I realise I may be getting slightly ahead of myself in saying this, but we must look forward. For years I have been wondering when someone will incorporate the other senses into a movie experience; like smell. We have sight and sound at almost mind blowing levels but haven’t yet ventured into smell. Why not? Why cant we have a small box next to our seat that can emit certain odours and so forth that tie in with the story. It doesn’t have to be a constant thing (we don’t want to leave the movies with migraines and stuffy noses) but it could add that extra iota of realism that some movie plots may be craving. Imagine strolling through the forests of Pandora and being able to smell those wonderful flowers.

Of course, we wouldn’t want to watch a horror movie and be dealt with whiffs of human excrement and internal organs filling our nasal cavities. Then again, it would make it more realistic.

What about movies that can be controlled by the viewer. It could start out as a ‘Choose your own adventure’ type scenario; where the audience each get a small control that allows them to vote on the path they think would best suit the movie or central character. The majority of the votes would then take precedence and the movie will play out as the audience sees fit. It would also mean that people could watch a single movie a couple of times over and receive a slightly different story from the last time. I am thinking this would be suitable for the more children’s films, maybe those animated ones. I could see that if it was introduced within war movies of biographical films, the audience would get more annoyed than contempt.

We have to also start wondering when movies and video games are eventually going to merge into one ultimate experience. This idea is bordering on virtual reality in a way. Right now, when a movie is released, such as Avatar, the video game is also on the shelves within that same week. The game itself may open up different plot lines to the movie and allow for a deeper immersion into the ideas of the film. Yet, we are still in a ‘geek’ environment (lets call it). If my parents went to watch Avatar, I am 100% certain that they would not rush out to get the video game. It doesn’t cater for them. We need a technology that can cater for everyone, young and old alike. It would have to be thought driven. We would have to loose the ‘controller’ aspect of video games and allow for interaction with the characters on a more basic and interpretive level.

Ahhhh, the possibilities.

Incredible really.

To the movie:

I am sure, with the box office success of this film and all the media attention it has been given, I am not going to add much to the overall melting pot. I am also sure that most of you have already seen this movie and don’t want to know about the plot of it etc.

Well, I should at least discuss it for those out there that haven’t seen the film.

Avatar is centred around the claiming, and subsequent resource mining of an alien planet called Pandora. Due to its alien nature, humans cannot live on the planet without special breathing apparatus and so forth. They have invaded the planet to obtain its precious resources, worth millions to the humans back on Earth. To allow for easy exploration of the planet, the humans have created real life versions of the local inhabitants, known as the na’vi. These real life versions are known as Avatars and can be controlled by a human connecting to the avatar through metaphysical connections. (Don’t ask me how it works)

Anyway, a ‘dances with Wolves’ scenario is created when the main character falls for the superfine (yet 8 feet tall and blue) daughter of the local head chief. Main character realises the harm his society is doing to their planet and joins forces with them to stop it (see – Dances with wolves – I told you)

Yeah, the plot is fairly standard (apart from all that scientific connections to a separate life force) and it is drawn out over an ass numbing 3 hour movie. However, with everything that goes on before your eyes, you don’t feel your ass slowly becoming the consistency of mashed potatoes. It really is a treat for the two senses that movies cater for.

If you haven’t already seen this movie, what the hell is wrong with you? Have you been living under a rock? All the time I hear mindless chumps saying things like “Oh, I’m not really into science fiction type movies”.
I shake my head in disbelief. You don’t have to like the setting of the movie (alien planet etc), just go for the experience
Pull yer head out of yer ass and see it!!!!!

P.S. It should have won the Oscar. It really should have. People are still hurting that Shawshank redemption didn’t win best picture because Forest Gump got in the way. Well, we will see in a few years how this movie has affected the film industry forever and realise why it should have an Oscar just on that basis.

Well, lets do it!!!

April 5, 2010

I am surprised at the feedback I received from that previous post. Wow, good stuff. Some messages were from people that I hadn’t heard of so that means that this whole internet thing is getting my moans out there, somehow. (Side note: I would be interested to find out how readers out there that don’t know me personally managed to get onto this blog – just as an educational exercise more than anything)

So, yeah. A whole big thanks to those that wrote in and I will keep this thing going for another trimester and updating it with a small selection of the movies that I have watched recently.

Look to the skies

Are we back??? Maybe

March 9, 2010

Ahhh. Sitting here at my rich mahagony movie critic desk again feels good.

I have noticed, over the 4 month hiatus I have been on, that I am still drawing some much loved website hits. This is awesome.

I am actually keen to go on with this website based on these results, however I am unsure about the hype out there.

So this is a plea more than anything. If you want to read about more exciting film reviews, delivered by yours truly, please post up some comments to this post so I can gauge the users out there and justify delivering the site for another term.

You have the power.

P.S. I have to do reviews of the following films, naming a couple just to wet your appetite:


The Hurt Locker

Up in the Air

Where the Wild Things are

Sherlock Holmes

Shutter Island

The Lovely Bones

etc etc etc

Zombieland (2009)

December 7, 2009

Zombieland poster

Director: Ruben Fleischer

Cast: Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin

Ok. I see why this movie has become an instant classic in the states. Basically it is the equivalent of the very good British movie ‘Shaun of the Dead’ but slightly less funny and compelling. The yanks like it however, because they probably haven’t heard of ‘Shaun of the Dead’. I dunno, just speculating.

First off, it is a zombie movie, so there is some gore to it. Yes, a lot of blood spewing from mouths. The main characters have been thrown together to create a group of misfits just simply determined to get through life, with the Zombies trying to hunt them down. The whole movie is pieced together in an almost ‘take-the piss’ manner (yes, much like ‘Shaun of the Dead’). It is upbeat and definitely Hollywood-ised.

I think I just invented a word.

The main character is played by Jesse Eisneberg, the guy from ‘Adventureland’. This guy seems to be choosing roles that have something to do with ‘land’. He’s digging himself into a niche. I tell ya what though. If you want to hook up with hot babes, that you normally wouldn’t stand a glimmer of a chance with – become an actor.

His character meets up with Woody Harrelson, a hard ass zombie killer whose one talent in life seemed to be revealed when the zombie virus broke out. He takes pleasure in doing away with the zombies…… As you would though.

Just think of it, basically – a licence to kill. Like James Bond. I never thought much about that whole licence to kill thing that James Bond has, until only recently. I mean – this guy has the queen’s honour to kill whoever he wants.

“Hey man. That was my place in the line…”

“First come, first served….. Faggot”


Licence to kill, mutherfucker.

I would slam that laminated card in his half shot off face as he desperately fights to savour his last breaths of air.

The look in his eyes would be priceless.

But yeah, zombie killing. Basically a free licence to let out some pent up frustration. The writer of this movie must have realised this also as they do seem to have fun with all the killings. The audience is all good with this too, because the things getting killed are zombies. If they were doing these kind of killings to real people then that would be a different story.

So, overall. Not a bad movie. Nowhere near as good as ‘Shaun of the Dead’ but still, a humorous take on the whole end of the world apocalypse thing.

I Love You, Man (2009)

November 29, 2009


Director: John Hamburg

Cast: Paul Rudd, Jason Segel, Rashida Jones

Ok hands up who is so fucking over the use of that term ‘Bromance’

I’m over it and I haven’t even heard it really. I’m just glad I don’t work in one of those places where people say that to me.

“Does anyone at your work ever ask you if you have a case of the Mondays?”

“No man. No. Probably get beaten up for saying something like that”

Anyway, the fact is, now that this word has been invented, Hollywood has caught on and graced us with a film honouring it.

Thank you Hollywood.

Thank you

Don’t get me wrong. I actually really enjoy watching movies from this group of guys. They were responsible for the likes of ‘Knocked up’ and ‘The Forty Year Old Virgin’, however that was when Judd Apatow was writing and directing them. He seems to have a nack for making successful movies.

When they go off on their own, the movies just don’t seem as polished (although I did like ‘Forgetting Sarah Marshall’).

This movie doesn’t do much to shift that trend. In fact, I don’t even know why this movie was even made other than to provide a seemingly hilarious insight into male bonding. There are the humorous parts but on the whole, this movie is a nothing movie. It’ll just pass you by.

Hang on – have I actually explained what this movie is about yet (Hmmmm [scrolling through what I have already written]).

No. I haven’t.


The movie is about a guy marrying his girlfriend but discovering he doesn’t really have any male mates that he could deem a best friend, or in this case, become his best man. So the movie is about him finding a friend.

Seems pretty boring and simple huh. It’s kind of a bit of both.

The other thing that is so so so so so so lame about this movie is the stupid ass movie poster. Look at it! Just look at it!

What the fuck is that guy in the front doing and then the other dude seems almost as if he is semi retarded. What is he doing with his hands?

Obviously I know what he is doing with his hands because I have seen the movie. Apparently he is ‘slappin’ the air bass. Fine. Ok. We don’t have to see him trying to do that in the poster. Then you have his biartch looking at him with rolling eyes.

Fuck off bitch

It looks stupid

Bad design. Bad, bad design.

They could have had him walking with his girlfriend in a park or some shit and had his mate staring longingly at him with a spare x-box controller or something.

Man. I’m good

I should design posters

Oh but yeah. Give this movie a pass unless you’re really keen to see it.

9 (2009)

November 23, 2009

Director: Shane Acker

Cast: Elijah Wood, Jennifer Connelly, Martin Landau

You wanna know the main reason I put this on?

Do ya?

Do ya?

Well, I had a quick peek at how long it was and thought “Super, this one will be a quick actionfest”. I was right.

God I’m good.

All I knew about this movie was that it was an animated story and that the story itself probably does not lend itself to something that Pixar or Disney may put out.

The plot is centered around a small sock puppet looking kind of guy. He has a large number ‘9’ imprinted on his back  You would think this is setting itself up for one of those mysterious stories; a story where you are either left thinking possibilities about the film or pissed off that it didn’t explain everything fully.

Never fear though – all is explained as to why this little guy exists and what the number means.

Basically, all life on earth has been destroyed due to an almost ‘Matrix’ like war between humans and robots. This guy and his 8 friends that he eventually meets are all that really remain of human emotions. They are terrorized by the remaining robots left on the planet that are hell bent on total destruction. This new guy ‘9’ seems to have some clues about him though and he leads an assault on the robots to discover the true meaning of his life and theirs.

This movie definitely requires a few views, I feel, as there is a lot to take in within the relatively short length of the film. The animation is glorious. I don’t know what their computers are packing these days but something tells me that they have the equivalent of 1200 horses under those bonnets.

My computer freezes up doing a typical render of a still image. These things pound through detailed scenes as I would with a KFC Zinger burger.

The underlying message in this story seems to hint at a whole philosophy that is hidden within the dialogue of the film; something I was too tired to really figure out at the time I watched it.

Get me some hard drugs though and I will tell you what everything means.

Including why that dragon is flying around my head